Keep Moving Forward

June 22, 2021

I’m a big Rocky fan. My favorite quote comes from movie 6 (a terrible movie, I know). But it gave us this treasure of a speech:

“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!”

A quote from Rocky may seem out of place in a blog written by a fantasy author, but I assure you there’s a reason I’m bringing it up.

You probably already know that writing as a career entails a lot more than just…well…writing. It’s a lot of networking, social media posting, video creation, formatting, editing, content-creating, and marketing. That’s not even all of it. There’s so much more. It’s hard to even explain everything that goes on behind the scenes of turning out a book. It’s chaos. Beautiful, totally worth it, chaos.

But chaos can be trying sometimes. It can be tedious and frustrating and mind-numbing. There are so many days where I wake up and just don’t have any ideas. There are days where I don’t have anyone to network or promote the book with; it’s just radio silence from all ends. Those days are rough. Those days are more frequent than I’d like to admit.

That’s the thing though. When you have those days where you’ve got no inspiration, no motivation, no leads to follow up on…those are the days where you have to just force yourself to work. Those are the days where you have to keep moving forward. You can’t give up. You can’t give in. You can’t put things off until tomorrow. No matter what, you have to keep going.

That quote from the worst Rocky movie really inspired me when I first heard it and it still does to this day. Things aren’t easy when you work in a creative field. Honestly, things are pretty tough. It can be frustrating when sales stagnate or when people ignore your emails. It can be maddening when you’ve sent ARCs out to reviewers and, six months later, they still haven’t reviewed the damn book. But, no matter how bogged down you are by everything that’s going on, you’ve just got to keep going, keep moving, keep grinding. That’s true for all careers, all passions, all dreams. No one is going to show up at your door with a salary bonus or a promotion, you have to earn it and you can’t earn anything if you’re standing still.

Imposter Syndrome?

May 26, 2021

When you’re a first-time author releasing an indie book, you can’t expect that sales are going to rocket off the shelves. I’m nearing 100 in the book’s first month of release and I’m ok with that number. Actually, I’m ecstatic! I’m not a big-name author or internet celebrity with a large social media following. I’m just me. And that’s what I wanted to write about this time.

I’ve mentioned in posts before that I have a degree in writing. I guess that lends me some credibility. But I was writing long before I ever got to college. I’ve been writing stories since I knew how to spell, essentially. And before that, I remember rambling off backstories for my stuffed animals to anyone who would listen. And let me tell you, they were very elaborate backstories.

What this all amounts to, in essence, is experience. I have both formal and informal writing experience. Objectively, I know how grammar works and I understand the fundamentals, and even the intricacies, of storytelling. That’s not bragging or anything, it’s just true. I’ve been doing it for pretty much my whole life and loved it enough to spend four years at school acquiring a degree with very few practical uses.
And now…well…I’ve accomplished my lifelong dream of being an author. It’s official. My book is out there on the market and anyone can buy it. And that scares me.

It scares me because the more books I sell, the more people are reading the story. And the more people who read the story, the more people there are who can hate it. Yes, I know not everyone is going to like what you do. I’m ok with that in theory. What I struggle with is feeling as though absolutely no one will like it. I struggle with feeling as though I’m not good enough. I struggle with accepting the praise I’ve received for my work. No matter how many people tell me the book is good, the cover is pretty, the characters are realistic…I just have a hard time accepting it.

Now I’m at the point where my publicist is hitting up news outlets and professional reviewers and I’m both excited and horrified. I’m over the moon about the idea of my book gaining some traction and people jumping on board the Fynneas Fog train. But I’m equally nervous that the train will derail and smash into smithereens in a fiery explosion. Is that too dramatic?

I guess what I’m trying to say is, it’s hard to let people read your work critically. It’s hard to sit there and keep your mouth shut and let them say what they want to say about it. It’s hard to not want to fight back about any and all criticism, no matter how small. It’s hard to let that book go out into the world, defenseless, and be judged.

There isn’t really a point to me saying all this. Hopefully, some of you who have taken the time to read my posts will find this useful information…or maybe it’s relatable. If you’re an artist of any kind – writer, painter, illustrator, dancer, actor, singer…whatever – just know that it’s ok to have knowledge and experience and still feel like it’s not enough. You’re not alone. And, when it comes down to it, I think you’ll be fine.

The Terror of Writing a Sequel

May 17, 2021.

As I’m working on book two, I have to say, it’s much harder than writing book one. It all comes down to fear, really.

Book one was really an introduction into the world, the characters, the mysteries, and the tragedies. Nine of Swords was the starting point and, in my opinion, it starts you off with a bang! Fynn’s first literary adventure is certainly full of action, relationships, intrigue, and some ridiculousness.

But now, with book two, people know who Fynn is. They know Lux and Hollyn and Godryk and Moriah. They’ve been to Morancy and the archipelago and Batsbeckon. And, now that they know these characters and the setting, they want more (hopefully).

So, when it comes to writing book two, it’s hard. Well…harder. When I finished with Nine of Swords, there were so many places I could go with the story. I knew Fynn’s overall journey and knew how it would all end, but I hadn’t figured out the specifics of how to get there. I had so many ideas and so many jumping off points I could use…I was excited!

However, now, as I’m writing it (tentatively titled Blood in the Water), I’m scared. I’m scared it won’t be as good as Nine of Swords. I’m scared people will think of it as a filler book between big story ideas. I don’t want it to have that Chamber of Secrets vibe that everyone associates with book twos (sorry JK).

I guess I need to get over that mindset and move on and just write the damn thing. But, saying that is a lot easier than doing it. Trying to write something just as good, if not better, than the first outing with your characters is challenging. I want book two to be just as fun and just as wild and just as full of mysteries and oddities without seeming like I’m throwing anything and everything at the wall to see what sticks.

This little blog, well…this is me checking in. For those of you reading, it may be interesting to get a peek behind the curtain, so to speak. For those of you who are writers yourselves, maybe you can empathize. Maybe I’m voicing something everyone else already knows or maybe I’m bringing it up and making a point of acknowledging how hard this sequel business is in order to help out other writers.

This whole job is crazy, when you think about it. I mean, I make up stories for a living. I create people who don’t exist and give them personalities to fit a fantasy world, a fantasy society that functions with a fantasy economy and politics. It’s weird when you think about it. I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’ve done jobs before this. Office jobs and such. I’m much more suited to this line of work. I daydreamed far too much to be productive working in an office.

I guess that’s the problem I’m facing. Or, at least, it’s one of them. I daydream so much that I have too many ideas for where Fynn and his friends could go, the worlds they could explore, the people they could meet, the cultures they could interact with. I’ve never been good at narrowing in on concepts.

Anyway, for now that’s all I’ve got to say on the matter. I’m on chapter one of book two. Of course, I’ve written four versions of chapter one…so who knows how this is all going to go. I appreciate everyone who’s here with me on this journey, following along and supporting me. Thank you to those who have read the book AND to those who haven’t, pick up Nine of Swords and give it a go. I promise, it’ll be interesting if nothing else.

Just Another Fish in the Sea

April 21, 2021.

I thought writing the book would be the hard part. Turns out, I couldn’t have been more wrong if I tried.

No, what they don’t tell you (or maybe they do and I just wasn’t listening) is that marketing is the hardest thing you will do as a writer. There are thousands – millions, more like – authors out there. And every single one of us thinks that the book we’ve just brought into existence is the greatest thing to ever be put to paper.

But here’s the thing. Even if your book is good – great, even – it’s out there in a sea of other books. It’s a minnow in the ocean. And in case you didn’t know, there are millions of minnows in the water. They’re nothing special. And that’s what you’ve got to realize when you’re an author. Even though you may think you’re the prettiest fish in the sea, the casual book buyer isn’t going to see you as anything more than a grey fish swimming around in a school of other grey fish.

I’m not being pessimistic. That’s just how it is. Unless your George R.R. Martin or James Patterson or J.K. Rowling, no one is going to care about you. You’re not a big name. You’re literally just one in a million. And I don’t mean that in a good way.

It’s almost difficult to write this. With every word I type, I feel a little more defeated. But that’s the game. That’s life. It’s the career I’ve chosen. It’s hard to make it as a writer. It’s even harder when you’re an indie author who’s also running their own small publishing company. It’s a lot of work and effort and stress for very little pay-off.

So, how do you get noticed? How do you become the prettiest fish in the ocean? Luck. Most people will tell you it’s hard work and talent. But really…look at some of the books that explode in popularity. Hell, some of them are actual pieces of fanfiction that just had character names changed. So, it’s not talent, it’s not being good at your craft, it’s not putting in the work. The sad reality is that sometimes you just need to be lucky. Of course, that isn’t to say that hard work and talent and experience aren’t necessary components for a well-written book. I’m just saying that a well-written book doesn’t always equal high-volume sales.

Sometimes you have to slog along for years, toiling away at your keyboard inventing worlds and characters and magic. Sometimes you only have to be at it for a few months. Sometimes you’re a celebrity or famous internet personality who doesn’t have to lift and finger to have a book written. You never know the road to success. It’s not labeled. It’s not clear. It’s like navigating the woods at night with a blindfold on and walking backwards.

All of this may sound a bit defeatist. And maybe it is. I like to think of it as being a realist. I’m not a big name. I’m not a celebrity. I’m not internet famous. What I am is someone with an unwavering dream and unyielding ambitions. I don’t have a team of people working for me and unlimited resources. What I have is determination and pride in my work. I can’t say if that’s enough to make it as a writer. I’m at the beginning of my journey. And well…I guess we’ll just have to see how it goes.

My First Book

February 5, 2021.

I've always loved to write. I can't remember a time when I wasn't coming up with stories. It's surreal to think that my first book will be coming out this May!

I attended UCF and received my BA in creative writing and literature. Honestly, I never thought I'd use it. And to be fair, for the first few years after I graduated I didn't.

There was a time where I wanted to be a lawyer. Crazy, I know. Me? I would've been awful at it. Regardless, I wasn't aware of this at the time. So, after I graduated from college, I returned home to Texas and got a job at a finance firm. It wasn't long after that, that I got my first law-related job. I was working in political law compliance. Exciting, I know.

I realized it wasn't for me. Granted, it took a few years and a lot of days where I would wake up in a panic absolutely dreading to go to work. But, I realized that studying for the LSAT and working alongside lawyers was draining. It wasn't me. I hated it.

So, after leaving the firm, I started to write. For the first time in a long while, I felt truly happy and genuinely excited for the day. I twas revitalizing.

Fynneas Fog: Nine of Swords took me a year to write and another to edit and tweak. I'm in love with the story I wrote and the characters I created. I hope that readers will fall in love with them too.